Hyperliquid Decentralized Satire

Hyperliquid might be liquid, but the decentralization? Kinda... centralized. It really depends on Jeff's mood.

Hyperliquid calls itself decentralized.  
But then the oracle changed... because Jeff said so.  
This shirt is your on-chain receipt and IRL punchline. If you're tired of clown-chain decentralization theater, slap this tee on and let your chest do the trolling.

Printed across the front in bold, passive-aggressive sarcasm:  
Hyperliquid (because Jeff said so) DECENTRALIZED 
Soft, breathable cotton for when you’re sweating over centralized decisions dressed up in DAO cosplay.

Wear it on-chain, off-chain, in Discord wars, or to the next Twitter Space where someone’s explaining how “trustless” it all is.

- 100% lightweight Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton fabric  
- Ribbed knit collar for elasticity and shape retention (unlike some protocols)  
- Shoulder tape for stability, because this shirt is more structurally sound than their governance  
- Sleeve and neck label printing so even your armpit is memeing  
- Retail fit and tear-away label for comfort while watching your bags bleed  

**Care instructions**
- Machine wash: cold (just like their liquidity)  
- Bleach: non-chlorine (unlike some of those Telegram takes)  
- Tumble dry: low heat, stay chill  
- Iron or dry: medium heat  
- Do not dry clean (because that’s still more transparent than Hyperliquid’s decision-making)